We're in a god awful place - an indoor waterpark near Knoxville TN (don't ask). And Josh INSISTED that I go on one of the big water slides with him. So here I am, walking around in my bathing suit (hey - I look GOOD compared to the vast majority of folks here) - traipsing up flights of stairs with a big raft - following him to the top. Now this is a major slide - little kids aren't allowed - and I'm not so into this. There are the regular warnings about not doing this if you have a heart condition, or epilipsy, etc. Can you get epilepsy in middle age? Maybe I have an undiagnosed heart condition - god forbid.
As I climb higher, I get more scared. I'm too old for this. What if I have a heart attack midway down? What if I pass out? But I don't want to act like a complete pussy in front of Josh, so I continue the climb. As we near the top, we have to wait in line for our turn. Josh, who knows I'm scared, is trying to console me. He's looking at me, with his incredibly wide, green eyes (how are those lashes so long? how are those eyes so green?) with total concern and love for me - telling me that everything is going to be fine - and I'm going to love it. And as I stare at his freckle-splashed cheeks and the tiny beads of sweat on his nose - and those green, green eyes - I suddenly feel very safe and calm. My eight year old calming me. What a sensation. It reminded me of the old days, whenever I was nervous flying, I'd listen to James Taylor and I'd feel calmer right away. Except it was about a million times more calming and more special.
As I stared into his eyes, on these stairs, in this ridiculous place, I thought (god I wish I could capture this moment and never forget it) And so I have.