Linda Quarterly

Josh's Art Decorates Nanny's House

Happy Birthday Ginny!

Max's Report Card

(I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry over the tzit-tzit comment.)

Max, a Singing, Jigsaw-Puzzling Madman

Guess Who Started This Fight in Josh's Class

From Josh's teacher, via email, to all the parents:

Some of the children had a discussion about God the other morning.  Two children told the class that God does not understand every language.  They were adamant about the subject.  Several of the children were upset because they believed that God understands everyone's prayers.  I DID NOT start this conversation, believe me!  I did come into this discussion when some of the kids were beginning to either get mad regarding the subject and upset.  I told them that it was a topic for home.  That being written, if your child asks you about this subject, you will know from where it came.

Yes - you guessed right!  Josh loudly and insistently pronounced that God only hears prayers in Hebrew.  When I asked him why he thinks that, he said, "Well, if God spoke every language, that means he'd be Christian and other religions too!"  Hmmmmmm.

 

An Update on Josh

Last weekend, Gregg and Josh went camping overnight in the N. Georgia mountains with his boy scout den (pack? troupe? band? assemblage?)  The weather turned sour unexpectedly on Saturday - rain and freezing temps.  It was Josh's first time camping.  It was very weird for me to be alone with Max.  But he and I had a great time just the two of us.  And Josh had a blast.  And Gregg - aside from having to help Josh poop at 4am in the dark and rain - had a good time too.

Earlier in the week, Josh's poppy came to his school to sing for his class.  I love how proud Josh looks in this picture.

 

These People Are Exhausting Me

Max:

As you certainly remember, Max is almost 3.5 years old. He has definitely evolved into the terrible two's.  It's easy to recognize.  How?  He screams for Gregg when he's not in the room, but as soon as he comes into the room, he screams for me.  He screams for his rock, but when he's given his rock, he screams that it's not THAT rock it's not the RIGHT rock and I WANT MY ROCK.  He wants certain songs in the car played at any given time, with no regard for whether it's on a cd, my ipod, Gregg's satellite radio or which vehicle it was last in.  It's like he doesn't even CARE about that.  He will scream SCARY SONG SCARY SONG I WANT THE SCARY SONG (referencing Michael Jackson's Thriller, which is on one of a zillion indistinguishable CDs scattered throughout the floor of the Prius.)  Also, anything that Josh is holding, Max will scream in an escalating fashion: That's mine. That's Mine!!! THAT'S MINE!!! I WANT IT IT'S MINE. 

Josh:

Josh attends a pricey after-care program three days a week, during which time he is supposed to work with top-notch teachers on his homework during part of the afternoon.  When he gets home by 5:30, it's a marathon of making and eating dinner, reviewing (finished) homework, bath, books, and bedtime.  Josh, however, insists every day that TODAY he didn't do his homework at aftercare because he really wanted to do his homework with ME because it's really SPECIAL HOMEWORK TODAY.  Which doesn't mesh well with my daily objective of getting him in bed by 7:30.  Plus - Josh is sometimes (and unpredictably) fussy about what he wears.  Usually, with only a little cajoling, he puts on whatever I lay out. But now and then, he freaks out about how the pants are SCRATCHY and the shoes are TOO TIGHT and the neck on the shirt is CHOKING HIM and it becomes a marathon of sorting through articles of clothing until he finds the items he is satisfied with.  And that's on top of incidents like, the other day, when I was talking to a client at about 5:15 and Josh came running into my office screaming, "Mommy I have to poop!  Will you wipe me??"

Gregg:

What can I say?  He does more than 99% of other dads I know.  And he never reacts to a request with an eyeroll or an exasperated sigh (I mean, I don't either! GOD!)  He just says "sure" and does whatever you've asked of him - whether it's unclogging a toilet or moving a decomposing body from the backyard to a landfill.  He may not move at the speed of light, but he does it.  And it may take him 4 trips back inside the house before he finally leaves for real (forgot my phone - glasses - keys - directions.)  And he struggles to master the art of separating the dark laundry from the light laundry, even though we have two different hampers side-by-side. Oh and there's the hand-written ten year anniversary card he made me, even though he had about, um, ten years notice of this impending event.  But he did buy me a beautiful necklace with the birthstones of both Josh and Max (pearl and diamond, respectively.) So who's complaining?

Nonetheless, I'm exhausted.  When's my next business trip already?

Max, awaiting the start of the Halloween parade.

Josh, giddy about his impending flu shot.

The cover of the anniversary card from Gregg.

The necklace.

I've Been Seeing Someone Else

I've neglected this blog, as you can tell.  Why?  I'm ready to admit everything.  It's time I got this off my chest.  There's nothing to say other than, I've been seeing someone else.  At first, I thought this was everything I ever needed.  It was fun and easy and we laughed a lot. Everyone else seemed to be doing it.  I figured, what's the big deal?  Well, I've learned.  Nothing comes without a price.  And, although I haven't cut all ties, I'm no longer in love. 

Yes, Facebook, I'm breaking up with you. I'm no longer willing to risk everything for you.  Ten years from now, you'll be a distant, lame memory and my blog, by then, will be an important, published (I'm sure) record of my life for the last fifteen years.  Maybe we don't have to break up entirely.  But I'm no longer committed to you exclusively.  I'm going to see others - definitely TypePad, maybe Twitter - we'll see.  I haven't decided yet.  You and I can maybe be friends with benefits, but that's it.

Maybe, possibly, if things really changed - if people started posting really funny things, if someone other than Lynne commented on my posts, if someone put an end to all these idiotic FarmLand and Bejeweled and ChainRxn space-wasters - I'd rethink things.

But after all my years in therapy, this I've learned:  I can't change you.  I can only change me.  So goodbye Facebook.  Goodbye for now.

Max waves the lulav and etrog at school

What, you don't know anything about this important custom?

Another Example of Josh's Homework

A Pithy Message from Max's Principal

Rabbi Buckman's Message

Modeling for our Children

The school year is well underway.  Students are learning.  Teachers are purposeful in their teaching.  Parents are satisfied.

Yet, if we go below the surface, I have encountered something very troubling.

I have been here only six weeks, and during that time, one GHA parent unremorsefully laid into one of our administrators saying, "You're an (expletive) Gestapo."  Even after finding out that the administrator was merely conveying a message from me, the parent refused to apologize.  

Another parent who objected to the school's enforcement of the dress code argued that we are "just like the Taliban."

A third questioned who the educators were that I consulted on whether or not we should take class time to show President Obama's speech last week.  My colleagues were labeled "Republicans with deep pockets."

All of these comments were shocking and inappropriate on their own terms. However, they were all the more disturbing in light of the fact that an anonymous caller threatened to harm our students a few weeks ago and we had to go into lock down with police supervision.

Perhaps unrepentant vitriol and anger should not be so shocking; it pervades society.

Last week, Representative Joe Wilson interrupted President Obama's speech to Congress accusing him of being a liar when he said that illegal immigrants would not be covered under his healthcare overhaul proposal.

Three days later, tennis great Serena Williams lost her cool and cursed out a line judge who called her serve a double fault with the match at 5-6, 15-30 of the second set.

Finally, on MTV Sunday night, when Taylor Swift tried to accept a video music award, Kanye West took the microphone from her and declared that the video by her competitor, Beyoncé Knowles, was better.

Many adults seem filled with rage and anger. How can we ever expect our children to act any differently when we adults do not model anything differently?  We will never succeed in building a culture of moral excellence in the school when parents act dishonorably at home.

The Talmud says that Rabbi Akiva's students were punished with a great plague because "lo nahagu kavod ze el ze," they no longer acted with respect towards each other. Debating, challenging and questioning are fine. But hurling insults and curses and comparing people who are trying to act sincerely to terrorists and criminals is something else entirely.

The culture in our school among students will change when the culture at home changes. Our students will stop bullying when we adults stop bullying.  Our children will act and treat their teachers respectfully when they see their parents treating teachers respectfully.  They will act like mensches when they see that the words we let into our homes from the media and out of our mouths reflect an understanding that each human being is created in the image of God.

A woman named Dorothy Law Nolte once wrote a poem called Children Learn What They Live.  She made an astute observation: "If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If they live with hostility, they learn to fight...if they live with tolerance, they learn to be patient. If they live with encouragement, they learn to be confident. If they live with praise, they learn to appreciate. If they live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect."

With what are your children living?

Regards,

Rabbi Lee Buckman

buckmanl@ghacademy.org



------->  your thoughts?

A Sample of Josh's Homework

Um, yes.  First grade.

 

Best Birthday Card: Computer-Generated Division

Thanks Poppy!

Best Birthday Card: Handmade Division

Thanks Lolly!

Birthday Party Favors! T-Shirts All Around

Everyone was SO excited to have a t-shirt with my face on it!

Yes, God Forbid . . .

. . . we let the President of the United States address our children to, according to the White House, "urge students to study hard and stay in school".  Of course the crazies Right Wingers didn't complain in 1991 when George HW Bush addressed students in much the same way ...

President George H.W. Bush gave an address to schools nationwide in 1991, from a junior high school in Washington, D.C. News reports from the time said the White House hoped that the address would be shown at schools nationwide, and Bush began his remarks by saying he was talking to "millions" of students "in classrooms all across the country."

As if our schools and teachers do not have enough to do already:

From: Leigh Bliss
Date: September 4, 2009 3:52:57 PM EDT
Subject: President Obama's Speech

Dear Families:
As many of you know, The President will be addressing the nation's children on Tuesday at 12:00.  APS will be showing this speech to all students.
If you DO NOT want your child to watch this speech, please notify me in writing  Tuesday a.m. or e mail me  so that arrangements can be made. 
Have a good weekend, enjoy yourself, and relax.
Leigh Ann

Random Pics, for your Viewing Pleasure

Our relaxing (not) evening routine, of which bath for Max is one of the myriad of steps.

 

Actual picture of Josh and Gregg in the middle of bedtime book-reading.

Gregg, in the outfit he chose for an Atlanta Falcons game.  Good luck with that.


Max getting his first cavity filled.  Yes, yes, he's three - with no permanent teeth - and I'm a bad parent.

First Two Weeks of School Down

And now we start week three.  You might ask . . . how's it going?  Well, I'll let you, kind readers, assess it for yourselves:
- one bomb scare and a day spent in "lock down"
- one school closing due to a sewage leak
- one classmate diagnosed with Swine Flu
- one teacher-reported incident which involved two boys (one of whom was my son) taking turns punching each other in the "balls"
- two times that a backpack was sent home with wadded up Superman underwear containing a wad of poop

Other than all that, it's been great.  No crying or hanging on my leg in the morning.  No pleading at night about not wanting to go to school in the morning.  And, by all accounts, the best first grade teacher in the system.   

I'm sure the kinks have been ironed out and we'll have a less-eventful remainder of the year.  Right??

Talk About Burying the Lead Story . . .

This email came from Max's pre-school, on the 4th day of the new school year:

From: "GHA Communications"
Date: August 14, 2009 1:36:41 PM EDT
To: "GHA Communications"
Subject: Health Update

Dear Parents,
 
The first week of school has been exciting and active.  First, with the help of experts we have completed lice checks and we are nit free and clear. The children from the youngest to age 14 were helpful and wonderful as we “tickled their brains."
 
On another note, we have a student with a confirmed case of the H1N1 virus.  The child is under a physician’s care, is at home and is doing well.  We continue in our efforts to teach and encourage children to use good hand washing technique as well as proper cough and sneezing etiquette.  Any child complaining of symptoms consistent with those of the H1N1 virus will be checked and parents will be notified accordingly. We check for CDC updates frequently and will keep our GHA family apprised of updates as we receive them.
 
I look forward to a safe and healthy school year,
K. Roth, RN, MSN/CNS

5000 Followers, Compared to My 18 (Most of Whom I Don't Know)

Help me beat Lee for gods sakes!  @lindaquarterly

First Day of School! (And yes, I know it's early)

Today Josh started first grade and Max began pre-school at Greenfield.  While neither seemed particularly freaked out about it, you could sense the anxiety building a few days prior.  Last night, neither slept well.  This morning, we set out walking to get Josh to school by 7:50, but ended up being late enough that I could barely give him a kiss as he walked into the classroom.  Later, we took Max to his new school, were he was immediately taken with banging a tamborine like a drum, and barely noticed as we said goodbye.

Tonight, they both were sound asleep by 7:30pm.  And I suddenly realized how exhausted I was, too.

Toward the end of our walk to school - running late - Josh annoyed and Max wouldn't let go of his bear, walk or sit in the stroller . . .


All is good as Josh joins Ms Bliss's class.

An hour later, Max is excited at the sight of his new school's playground.


Max immediately took advantage of a bevy of new toys and things to do.

Two New Schools, Same Start and End Time, 1/2 Hour Apart, No Bus Service

Ahhhh . . . the logistics of a new school year.  How do people do this with 6 kids?  Well, they probably don't purposely enroll just one of them in a school that's a 30 minute drive away.  But we did!  Max will be leaving the little day care in our neighborhood that we've attended now for six years and will be starting in the 3 year old class at Greenfield Hebrew Academy.  

Josh, who attended our neighborhood public school last year, was at the Kindergarden annex.  This year he'll be attending the main campus near our house. 

Josh during his orientation:

Both boys start school at 7:50am and end at 3pm.  Both had orientations at the exact same time on Friday. Here are pics from their orientation programs . . . and Max's last day at his old school.

Max trying out his new playground:

Max, in a parting shot with his best friends and teachers at his old school:

What Would Have Been a Super Great Family Picture

Josh is such a ruiner!

Mobile Posted Parenting Tip

Don't let your three year old watch Michael Jackson's Thriller. They will not appreciate the special effects at all. They will just be completely focused on how "scary" it is.

Afterbirth: It's What's for Dinner

You have to love the fact that this Joel Stein article was in Time Magazine.  By the way, if you're the least bit interested in this for real - you MUST watch the video clip on the article link below.

There is so much you can't know about your spouse when you get married, like that one day she will want to eat her placenta. But there are two things you don't argue about with a pregnant woman: what she eats and that being full of life indeed looks sexy. So when . . . 

Click here to read more.

Cruise Report

We just got back from a seven day Canadian/New England family cruise in celebration of my parent's 50th anniversary.  And Bennett and Alyson's 20th.  And our 10th.  And Doug's 50th birthday.  And when I say "family", don't take it to mean that our entire family went.  For reasons no one really understands, but which I'm sure involve not having 24/7 free internet access to maintain his top 10 right wing blogger status, Doug and his family chose not to come.  So that completely sucked.  But, looking on the bright side, I only got into 2 screaming matches that were political in nature.  Whereas if Doug was there, it would be 2 per meal.

 We started the cruise on Gregg's birthday in Montreal and went to Quebec City, two stops in Nova Scotia, Bar Harbor, Maine, and ended in Boston on Mike's birthday.  The line was Holland America, which is very nice but sends a variety of not-so-subtle "this place isn't for kids" messages. Which meant I had to parent more than I would have liked.  Every time we wanted to send the kids to the "kids club", it wasn't open - or it was about to close.  Annoying.  And even though we traded out our two connecting steerage rooms (150 sf each) for the biggest suite on the boat (600 sf) because they were oversold - it still wasn't big enough for our family of four.

But the ports were beautiful - we hadn't seen Bennett and Alyson and Jake and Sam in ages - and it was a really nice break from the norm.  Plus, we managed to snuggle in a lot of booze, so we didn't have to buy too many $8 drinks (classy, I know.)

 In the end, Gregg and I realized that our kids don't know or care if we're in Egypt, Booger Hollow Georgia, a rain forest or on Mars.  They just want a kids club where they can color, do a scavenger hunt, play video games and make paper bag puppets. 

Check out more pics in the photo album on the left . . .